| on july 25 in tempe AZ |
[02 Aug 2006|01:15pm] |
was the most amazing show ever. not only for the bands that played as much, but the fact of what happened. if you know me you know the love of my life is anthony green pretty much. well it was a circa show and...guess who was right up front? and guess who got to sing into the mic with just his mouth singing into it and no one elses? (literally cause he put it down and i brought the mic close to my mouth, i don't think anyone new the part, i dunno, but i was also the first to sing into the mic :-D.) ((girls, just imagine your idol doing all this to you and such k? you'll know how i feel then)) and guess who held anthonys hand multiple times, got his sweat all over him, and uh even had a crotch grab, yea that's right ladies. and he also signed a few things for me afterwards. i was pretty much shaking and i couldn't believe it. he's way short tho, i think shorter then me , no joke.
i went with my friend stephanie and i think she had a blast as well. this was an awesome show cause it was so like, personal. he was literally right there, he wasn't 100 feet away or even 10 feet away on some big ace high stage, he was right there in my face. heck the times he leaned down i could have kisses his face haha. i didn't tho. darn right? haaha jk jk. i wanted to tell him that his voice was like medicine for me alot of times from like 9th grade on or whatever but i didn't. i couldn't really think of anything to say i just shook his hand at the end of the show after he signed a bouncey ball (one of many that were being thrown around during the show) and a cup. the VERY cup he drank out of, and i asked him to sign that one for amber. and he put "to amber, LOVE anthony" so i hopefully she likes that alot.
no we aren't together but i know she loves anthony almost as much as i do, or did anyways. and he drank from this cup too. so yea, hopefully she likes it. i still think of her alot and from time to time. oh yea, i didn't write about my 3 week long road trip in here. it had its ups and downs to say the least. and i basically said good bye to amber face to face for the last time so for me that was pretty much the rock bottom of my trip. i'll talk about it in another entry some time, i am way behind in things that have happened in my life lately just cause i usually don't feel the urge to write about it cause i'm generally too down to do so. anyways yea, another time. i kinda get sad when i think about it and crap. boo hoo. but gosh, such an amazing show!!!! the best i have EVER been to EVER.
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| thankful |
[23 Jul 2006|08:28pm] |
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thankyou lord for the kindness of others, for new beginnings, and watching over me. these are new pages you are writing for me and i am ready for whatever you have for me. things are looking up and i have the Lord and friends to thank for that. the Lord however gave me my friends and made them who they are in a sense so it really still all stems to him. i had more to say but i don't remember. ya.
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| leaving |
[01 Jul 2006|03:43am] |
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well i am out of tucson for a bit. off to see friends and go to cornerstone out in illinois. hopefully i will be killed or something like that on my trip. at teh same time i hope i have an okay time as well. take all yal have have a pleasant time doing whatever you'll be doing. i'll let you know when i have returnth.
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| chest wrenched |
[17 Jun 2006|01:05pm] |
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everyday is stepping towards this nightmare new, and i can't believe that it's true, as hopes and prayers seem to collide, not to seem distraught, i slowly die, as her words seem empty, not the same, i know i've asked for it all, and i am to blame, the face that once launched my thousand ships, now all that's left, a thousand memory clips...
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[15 Jun 2006|09:41am] |
this was my prom outfit, senior year 05.
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| hands would reach, but no return, and this realization only burns |
[15 Jun 2006|08:53am] |
| [ |
music |
| |
teddybears stockholm - yours to keep |
] |
so, here's what my plan was before things went really lame and crappy, er that is.
amber goes to this festival called cornerstone every year, it's in bushnell illinois or whatever. anyways. we had talked before about having our own little prom dance thing since we never got to go to prom together. and since i also wanted to go to cornerstone in the first place for like the past 2 years, i decided i was going to surprise here there. hoping things would work out with us, like we get along, then i would truck back up to michigan and hang out with her for a while.
i was telling her that i didn't know if i was going to visit her this summer cause i wanted to surprise her, but i told her "you never know, i just might" and i kinda hinted that i was but slightly. she was saying she wanted to see me anyways and just give me a hug and stuff, and i'd like that alot. and i told her to keep her head up about things, and that i have a surprise for her and it's something i can't just up and do but it's a matter of waiting for time to go bye, and yada yada.
tho she did say she didn't want to see me for the first time after 4 months (or so) at c stone cause i guess eh doesn't want to deal with anything and just have a fun time, and i understand that. but i wouldn't ask that of her and she wouldn't even have to hang around me that much at all if she didn't want to. that and illinois is closer and i didn't want to barge in on her and her family in michigan and surprise her there and make it seem like i am forcing myself to stay with them.
at this festival i can camp out and what not so it's not like i'm forcing myself on her and her family if she wished to not see me and stuff. so that was my reasoning behind it.
oh and if we got along like the first day we saw eachother there or soemthing, i was going to invite her to my camp site and play oldies music, like nat king cole, from my car, and be in my prom outfit and stuff and ask her to dance. so yea. sounds lame but i thought why not give it a shot. a saying i heard a long time ago, might not be completely to the dotted i, but, "you never hit the target if you don't even shoot".
i didn't even intend this idea as something to "win" her back, be nice, but i just wanted to have a nice good bye on good terms and kinda you know, went out with a "bang" as something more along the lines of sweet rather then the vicious bitterness between us that is somewhat current.
side note, there was this goopy stuff at a game arcade and put put place called golf and stuff that amber liked and it made fart noises and stuff. well when she took it back home, after a while it got ruined and stuff. so i went back and secretly won her another one and i wanted to also give that to her as a "cutesy" gift when i saw her. i was thinking of other gifts too she would like and need. like new skateboard stuff that she was telling me she needs really bad, and whatever else i could think of that would be nice. and do like sweet things for her or soemthing, flowers,poem, i dunno. you know the dealio.
i mean, i am still going, i planned my whole summer around this one event out there, and i am going. like i planned going to canada and stuff around this and her. cause if i was going to go back to michigan with her, which prolly isn't even in sight now, but i would have liked to have stayed a few weeks or soemthing, cause i'd have to drive all the way back to tucson az. (and i am sorry if that upsets you amber). (back to public) but i am quitting my jobs to go and have half my summer left to spend having some kind of fun. don't worry i will get a new job when school starts so hush hush, i'm not that big of a moron, haha. tho i am sure some of you would disagree.
well i told her most of this anyways cause we got in a fight and it was basically one of those it's ending for reals fight, and yea, it makes me really sad and depressed.
part of me wants to move on. but every person (girl) i see doesn't compare, and there's not a spark to even attempt that flame. it's still kinda short notice, 2 months isn't that long from a 3 year thing. but still. i want her to know i loved her. even though i hurt her alot and did her wrong on many accounts and lied to her. and i don't blame her for how she feels. and i don't blame her for looking at new guys and stuff. some of it was rather fast, but i don't know.
i just look at old pics and i remember how (i still do feel this way) how no girl has ever been so beautiful to me and flat out amazing. and my memories just over flood my mind.
i know i've said mean things to her and made her feeling i don't think that otherwise, but no other girl holds a candle to her.
and if anything, i still have alot of feelings for her. and i see it as not being fair to the girl (whoever i date if i dated a girl within the near future) cause i'd just be thinking of her and have feelings for her (her as in amber) and not the new girl and stuff.
(yea if you didn't notice i am really hung up on this girl amber and out of the like 5 entries i have, most, next to all, are about her, some entries you probably can't see anymore but yea, they're there and about her.)
so, i don't think i have enough lj views and comments to get a decent amount of responses but it's worth a shot to just ask and see what i get. and i appreciate a response so muchly.
should i continue with my plan? yes or no, and reasoning please. i mean, i am still going out there, but should i avoid her? attempt small talk? or anything else? etc.
the advice saying just get over it, uh sorry that's not advice that's just saying something that's not possible at this point. i can't help how i feel, so i need something that will convert these feelings and crap one way or another, and not just cut them off, cause i can't.
something about this song is so heart wrenching to me. something about it's placid lyrics and mellow music just grabs me. sad song to me. k i'll stop now.
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| realizing |
[13 Jun 2006|02:12am] |
more and more, it just hits me. this is the end. it's goodbye. i've been hanging on to what i should be letting go of. but i can't. i'm weak. i'm nothing. i just keep breaking down. i can't think i'm too tired. sorry for sounding like an idiot. i just need the love of real friends, that'd be nice. cause my lonesome mind is driving me crazy. i need someone(s) to take my troubles away, just get my mind off things.
she likes this other guy right now. he's 23 and the lead singer of bdb. i have a feeling he likes her back and stuff too. so it's really easy for her right now to not really care about me as much and what not. i kinda wish i had someone that i liked right now so it'd be a piece of cake for me too.
then again it wouldn't be fair to that girl cause i'd prolly think of amber alot and stuff. maybe she feels that if she replaces me right now over time she'll forget about me. i dunno. maybe she has already tossed them aside cause she's found a new infatuation.
this other guy liked her for a while. and it was pretty recent. but she only saw him as a friend. and told him she wasn't ready for something and stuff like that cause she said she still had feelings for me. said TO ME that she wasn't attracted to him either. yet, here she is liking someone now (new guy), and part of me feels its for shallow reasons, cause she got along with the other guy great too, and gets along with this new fella as well. and told me or has said things that makes it obvious that she's attracted to this new guy. this isn't that far apart from one guy to the other so yea. i kinda have another funny feeling that she has kinda always had a crush on this guy as well but i am not sure. this is all speculation and not fact. just observation. but i mean he's the lead singer of a band she has loved for a while. it's her bro's band actually so yea. i wouldn't doubt it. and she just started talking to him for like 4 days ago (give or take) , like really talking to him in deeper convo then just casual talk. that is what also leads me to believe that she's already had a crush on him and that it's kinda for shallow reasons.
one day she was begging to see me on the web cam and said "don't ever let me go that long ever again without seeing your face". and the next day (literally) she could give two shits less. we were fighting a bit the next day but uh, that shouldn't make that big of a difference. it wasn't such a "hardcore" of a fight to all of a sudden make her not like me. not a i all of a sudden have feelings for another guy difference. we've had much worse.
but hey, if that's what she wants then fine. i wish them the best of luck if it works out and stuff. so far what i know of the guy (i've met him) he seems like a great guy and what not. i am just glad she picked someone like him verses someone like another character she's like/lusted for. (jedd). i just hope she's thinking clearly, and not with clouded judgement like she has before with other guys in the past.
it does bother me tho. like i wonder if she's even real with him. he does some things she doesn't like when it comes down to it, like drinking, and is in a big band that's getting more and more famous. she's very jealous, and had always shared her hatred for drinking. i am sure she's convincing herself otherwise. and from what i've heard he swears too and she also hates that. she also said she wants someone that will bring her up and stuff, yet alot of things they have in common has to do with their pessimistic personality and always being down and quiet and stuff. and she shared with me that she doesn't want that, yet here she is. again, pointing towards PARTIAL shallow reasons. so what i meant by real was ernest and stuff, like i have a feeling she's prolly afraid to speak her mind cause she might push him away. but i mean if he actually likes her then it wouldn't matter that much as long as she wasn't saying mean things. so it's kinda like a thing where i feel she's trying to convince him of something, like she wont care and he can do whatever he wants. and heck most guys would love a gf like that. so yea. the age thing too, she prolly holds him in higher respect and stuff cause he's like 5 years older then her. but whatever.
on the topic of drinking, i drank one smirnoff bottle of ice wine cooler whatever stuff. the stuff that tastes like soda kinda. it was at my friend alex's b day. and i swear here and there but we're not dating and prolly never will again so yea. she doesn't have to worry about that with me.
so i guess this is another goodbye to her. i dunno if it wil last. but the gut feelings say it's pretty real this time. and part of me really hopes so, then again i also hope not. but the more time goes by the more i realize things will never work. and we've grown to hate eachother too much. not hate but you know, a strong dislike. and i think alot of it has to do with distance, like always.
but i'd really like to get out of this slump in my life and move on if i can. seeing as how things will prolly never work tho i wish they would have.
it's amazing that when i am down there's no one around. quite lame actually. i don't expect flocks of people, but it just always seems that way. i'm always so disconnected and alone when shit like this happens. well whatever i'm done.
any non-biast advice? any would be fine, thankyou.
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| soon some day, everything will fall into place, who am i kidding? F*ck life... |
[05 Mar 2006|04:55pm] |
Where to start. it's been a long time since i did this. then again, just about every entry is that way, haha. well, i've been attending pima community college. i started up the second semester in january cause i took the first semester off and spent all of my time with amber. literally. I am currently taking a full load that consists of, wrt 101, pysch 101, art drawing 110, and math 151. they aren't too hard of classes but it sucks at the same time cause it's a full load, and they each surprisingly ask alot of me, like alot of homework. so it's a little le gay.
what sucks more is for a little while i was working full time pretty much, i have two jobs. one is being a social working who aids the mentally handicapped and physically disabled. it's an alright job...rewarding in a sense but uh, i'll just be blunt, it's gross at times. THEY ARE NOT GROSS, just things they can't help. and THEY are also real people.
my other job is being a security guard. i work 5 nights a week graveyard shift 12-7am. it's not that hard of a job, it's just brutal on the body, like wears you out cause of how much sleep you miss and how your sleeping pattern changes. kinda lame, but it's not bad money, 8.5 an hour.
i requested a cut back on hours tho so i will only be working 3 nights a week which isn't bad. still make decent money. and i can do homework while i am on patrol, so that's nice. i'm in a toyota tocoma 2006 when i patrol, and i am there pretty much the whole night in the walmart supercent parking lot. yea that's right, i am that guy, the guy with the blinking yellow lights that says don't ride the shopping carts, they're not toys. but i am a pretty cool guard, so i don't care if you do that. haha. wow this must be the most boring thing any of you have ever read, if any of you read this.
all this stuff mixed with other stuff is really getting to me. i pretty much hate life right now. wa wa wa. yea boo hoo, who doesn't hate life right? well it could always be worse, i try to remind myself of that. i really don't want to have to be in school. i really just want to be able to do whatever the f i want, to not have to be anywhere, to have to do anything. but i'm sure most of you feel the same. there's also some white african dude staying at ambers house like everyweekend. sorry but ugh, that's not a coolio in my book. first time she meets him and he's staying the night, pretty f'd. yea she had talked to him for a long time on the internet but that doesn't change sh*t.
he's an exchange student from south africa and he's staying with a family that lives like an hour or so from amber. i dunno. he's pretty much a sh*t head in my book. what happened was he got popular where he's staying then quickly crapped on so basically he ran back to being pals with amber after he ditched her and stuff. there's a difference between being a friend and then f*cking trying to actually get with her. spend the night every weekend, yea k that shouldn't bother me in the least right? ha ha ha...before he went there, i talked to him about stuff over aim, cause basically he does like amber, he's admitted it. and he would get butt hurt whenever talk of me came in. so amber would avoid talking about me at all or you know, basically showing any sign of love for me that could be seen by him.
so i talked to him, i didn't say back the F*ck off and never talk to her, i said he has the freedom to talk to her but to back off with the stupid cutesy talk and lovey dovey sh*t cause it wasn't his place to even talk that way to amber. basically hitting on her. so anyways she blames me for him avoiding talking to her or hanging out with her for a long time even when he got to michigan. they were supposed to hang out like almost right away when he got there. but wait, they planned to hang out and talked about it even AFTER i talked to him...hmm how funny. like two days before they were supposed to hang out they still talked about it, then all of a sudden theres a show he wants to go to instead, and ditched amber...i talked to him weeks before that, easily. not only that but i basically said things really blunt on here and when i talked to him it was alot more subtle. but whatever they're "best friends" right now. we'll see how long that lasts. either way. whatever (seems to be the word of choice lately)
my hands are in he air and i'm screaming F*ck the world!
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| a night and a day away |
[01 Jun 2005|01:49am] |
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i can't wait, i leave tomorrow. i get to see my lovely amber after about 6 months of not seeing her. i just can't wait! i've missed her so much and love being with her. finally i get to see her. sorry this may not interest many of you, but to me it's a huge deal! anyways, bed time, i need rest, goodnight.
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| relapse |
[27 May 2005|09:04pm] |
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just as it is overcomed,
before long, it starts to succumb,
it begins where it had once begun,
we're right back, at step one
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| "for me it's like crazy" |
[25 May 2005|02:23am] |
i graduated. it's just crazy. where to now? hopefully there's some clear skies and smooth sailing ahead. not very fun starting on a rocky sea.
i am leaving to see amber in a week and that makes me extremely happy. i really hope things go great and that we re kindle what we had. i love her and care for her very much and imagining life without her is just NOT the best feeling in the world to say the least.
anyways, it's time for bed. good night all, take care.
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| here's to goodbye, tomorrow's gonna come to soon. |
[20 May 2005|01:14pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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ambivolent |
] |
| [ |
music |
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none |
] |
today was my last day of school. it's so crazy, it doesn't even feel like it. even tho tomorrow is saturday it seems like i still have to go to school and will be going for a while. tho i do plan to attend college, that's just a different thing all on it's own. it kinda sucks in a small way since i most likely won't be seeing alot and i mean alot of the people i grew up with almost my whole life really ever again. and also this is where all our lives just take off and blossom or sink and drown. at the same time, i'm glad it's done. kinda wish i did more and took other opportunities i had in high school. i feel like i wasted alot of those chances, but whatever right? can't look back. just learn from the mistakes and think about things differently. time moves on with or without you, so i'm gonna move with it. everyone else who is graduating too, we finally F ing did it, seems like it wasn't ever comming! woot woot...
I hope my closest friends still stay my friends throughout my life and that we don't lose track of one another. hard to do i know, but i don't want things to just be memories.
i still can't let go that tomorrow just came too soon, you know? am i ready? what does God and life have in store for me? grand doors have just been opened up to my life, out into the real world. am i ready? i sure hope so...
Goodbye old life. Thankyou to all of you who were apart of it, and hopefully will be apart of my new one as well...
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| i wanna make you happy, but i've fallen, i'm sorry |
[07 May 2005|10:18am] |
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i dunno even where to start. life is not being very good to me lately (happens to us all i know), and i don't write in here every time i am down and depressed, just sometimes.
today is prom. i have no date. i didn't want one before cause i didn't want amber to get upset. now tho it's more like me getting upset with all the things she is doing. she is sorry, but sorry doesn't change what's happening. it's like hitting someone, saying so sorry, and hitting them some more. i know she doesn't have alot of friends or much to do, she lives in a small town no mans land. but she's hanging with this guy that is her like long life crush. he was nothing more when she met me, they hung out long ago as little kids, but stopped talking. now it's come full cycle and he's entered the scene, i feel like am only second great now. and it's not fair, i have been the one there to show her love and compassion, he's just another beautiful face. but the more they hang out, the more i know it will just become. she takes every chance she can to be with him too. it more then tears, it shreds me inside. i rather be getting the physical beating of my life then this.
i've been so stressed. stupid work is just making all of us work harder cause they think we are slacking off, and i already work damn hard, it's others that make it seem we are slacking. my job is sick, like gross sick. my work is very labour orientated, meaning alot of like hard physical labour. you wouldn't think so but really, it is.
school, that is just packing on 50 things at once cause it feels like it. it's the end of my senior year and this is what they feel like doing. but i've been so down and trying so hard with amber i don't have time for any of it. school isn't even a one thing but more like 5, for all the classes i have. summer is so close but so far.
college, i haven't even signed up. i have to take those dumb placement tests and crap. i mean look, i have so much time, nothing else is happening in my life. all the time in the world right?
a particular class i have, ap psychology, is stressing me. this teacher prints more crap for us to read then any other teacher or teachers combined, if you only knew, literally. the ap test is may 10. 3 days after prom. how demented is that?
band is also stressing me out, and no not school band. i really really want to strive to be a good one. it's really hard working with these kids tho sometimes, they just don't quite get it fully, they're all 15 and really good instrumentalists.
i'm supposed to go see amber june 1. we started dating again not too long ago and she wants a break or something? she's going to nj to see a friend (female), and pretty much that is a break. she wants the other kind of break tho, why? we haven't even had a chance to be together yet. she's just changed alot, it hurts. i love her dearly, and i know all this worry and caring will just cause me to lose her. like wise, being walked all over and letting whatever happen will cause the same. i've been in that second senario already. i'm trying my absolute best to show her i love her, and it just dies in her or something whenever she sees him. i feel like i replace him when she can't hang out with him. but just in a different way, like with words and such. here i stand, replacement waits.
i'm not even going out to dinner tonight to save money to see amber. i was invited by 3 different groups to go with them. they made reservations for me. i'm sacrificing alot for her. and yet, it doesn't seem like she is much for me. she told him she loves me and likes him, so she wants to give us another try, but i mean, nothing happened to give us another try. she basically just started liking someone else, pinning me in the corner to fight for a breath of love with her.
i dunno if this is even all true, i just feel this, sorry for the complaining. i don't really talk to anyone, honestly, about my (to most of you) meaningless drama. i dunno how you could know, but i'm being honest with you. i'll cry this river because to me it's all true. i'm going to do my best after this tho to not care anymore. i can't really do this caring thing anymore, i'll fall in the crowd like everyone else and be whatever.
first not caring i start with is loving amber. i don't care who knows it, i love amber. i want to be with her. this sounds so sappy but it's true. i feel like no one could love me the way she does and i miss her oh so dearly. i just feel right now she's out of her usual mind. or she is in her right, whatever you believe.
what should i do? whatever shall i do?
ever been so tormented you wish you didn't feel? ever felt so helpless you wish you could be superman or something, and save your own day? i know people have it worse then me, and it's not fair for them. that doesn't justify that this is fair for me either. *boo hoo here's my river*
the not caring is in general, things just won't matter anymore. i'll let things fall away and apart. everyone i notice that is like that gets whatever they really want. i hope it makes her happy, me happy. it all starts after you finish the last word.
i'm a senior, and this is my first prom.
this will be my prom memory...
if you get this far, thanks, means something that you read all this.
and now it starts.
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| detour |
[08 Sep 2004|11:45pm] |
so yea, again i know it's been a long while since i wrote in this thing, sorry i am not too trendy with it. hardy har j/k. umm, well just a few things in my life i guess are going on, of course all are giving my some kind of frustration. school is an always, tho it's not quite so bad this year, trying to find a job, long distance relation ship, having no money to buy things like skate stuff or even gas, and yea the b*tch list goes on. getting back into school a few weeks ago was alright, seeing alot of faces i hadn't seen all summer and a crap load of new ones. anyone else notice the freshmen this year loooking really really , well little and young? didn't seem that way when the last wave of them came in last year. but yea, anyways...i have a psychology test tomorrow, hurray.....i read most of the chapter this night, haha, always like me to procrastinate. sucked cause this past weekend i didn't do too much considering it was labour day weekend and had an extra day off. on anther note, any of you out there with a spare deck and you don't use it, i would appreciate it greatly. i got one from matt t. but it's pretty beat up and i don't think it's going to last very long, and yea, i am a poor boy obviously. i also hurted myself when i was skatin in the DW pool, long story short, kinda hurts to breath and laugh and sneeze in the area between my right peck and right shoulder blade, and yea i hit my hip and stuff too. i don't think it's too bad but we shall see. i guess not much more to blab out. oh yea, my gal amber comes here oct. 8th i think, so all of you that i know , i would like for you to meet her and such if you didn't the last time she was here. and if you could, let me know of any shows that are going on while she is here from oct 8 to like oct 20 i think it is.well i am done spewing this crap out. ya'll out there take care, lates.
here's a joke for all you that a friend told me:
what's brown and sticky?..............
A Stick......hardy har har
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| put to rest, supress |
[06 Jul 2004|07:26pm] |
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i forgot to say , on a quick note, if you had read a few entries below about my friend and being sick and such, you don't need to hope anymore. she all of a sudden got up and was talking and everything. but then she eventually passed on. she was up and around for about two weeks, and thanks to any of you that hoped for her, i am very sure that is what helped her enjoy her last little bit. thankyou for your hope. and please again, i don't want pity, just updating you on that if you were at all concerned. take care and have a good happy day.
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| far from over now |
[06 Jul 2004|07:01pm] |
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well i am about to go to michigan this saturday to see my lovely darling amber <3. i fly into detroit at about 4:05 or so. this is going to be such a fun trip and we get to do alot of things like go to niagra falls and see a bunch of shows and just be our hott selves ya know? haha j/k, she's the hot one and i am the ugly dork loser who happens to have a hottie girl friend. but i am soo F ing excited! but other then that, life for me has been alright, just bored and doing chores and such, skating some, and drawing some too. i am working on an animation project with a few friends and hopefully it's going to turn out as awesome as i see it in my head, haha. but anyone that reads this that i know and skates, i think robert wants to go out skating wednesday night ish or something. so yea i guess that would be just ezra, so yea ezra you are comming skating, there is no choice, you just are comming. but i will give you a call just in case you don't read this in time. umm, i can't really think of anything else...i am kinda peesed i keep missing blindside wherever i go! they were here the 23 of june but noooooooo i was in canada to be in my uncles wedding. i was an usher and pimped the women (cause the usher escorts the women to her seat). and now blindside plays in michigan where i am giong BUT they play on thursday and i arrive in detroit on saturday! grrrr i hate this. I'll NEVER get to skate with christian from blindside at this rate! :'(. meh oh well, my time will come! giving up is far from over now
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| first time in centuries (celebrate amber was here!) |
[10 Jun 2004|11:09pm] |
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hey everyone, sorry it has been another long while since i have written in this thing. Amber came to visit me finally and we had such an awesome time! boy is she a tom cat in the sack or what! haha. no no we did not hump but anyways.... life here is actually good for once. kinda weird and i am not used to things kind of going my way *shrugs* but i hope all of your lives out there are doing well and going your way as well. this summer for me atleast has been a blast so far as well. form the 22nd to the 30th i get to go to canada for my uncle's wedding and i get to see some family and canadian friends eh!? har har.... but maybe i get to see my friend who is sick and such. i haven't talked to her family in a while but i hope she is alright and who knows? maybe a miracle is in order, and your hopes for her will be appreciated still as well, but no sympathy please, it's for her, not me. other then that, just been skatin and being a bum, I LOVE IT! ezra, we need to go skate soon k bud? umm, i dunno what else to say. hi to all my friends!!!!! um yea. take care for now, love peace and.....chicken grease?
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| under life's skin |
[06 Mar 2004|09:47am] |
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Hey, how is life going? it's alright here for the most i guess. just school, some skatin, and such. i just wanted to post an entry to ask any of you that rea this , if you could just pray for a friend of mine. her name is sarah, she has a brain stem tumor and is in critical condition. she cannot speak nor see very well anymore either. Even if you don't hold a lot of faith, an thought of the heart of her getting better would be wonderful. I don't want pity or what have you, just some nice hopeful thoughts for my sick friend. so whenever you pray or something along that, with your church, family, etc, if you could include her i'd be in your debt, thank you. other then that, life's still going here. hope all is well with who ever reads this, take care.
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lenis_animus's journal